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One can have all the knehsmlge but its usciiss unless one puts the knowledge into action in some form. OYS did that for me, and here is a review afger 6 months of holding myself acjzesukrle to strangers on the internet and myself: The Baitsruknd 34, 6вЂ™2, 190. Somewhere in the 13% bf racte. Married a year and a half and no chbrjbhn. Reasonably attractive, reyqbihaly athletic, and with a comfortable 6 figure income. Cahzer Nice Guy, son of a desvde deceased strong wokan mother and a passive, weak, magrrcxom complex, yet hocwbfsle father. Depressed for the decade afser mommy died; caizer went well but personal life was sitting at home jerking off and watching TV whqle dating intermittently. 2 year LTR prdor to wife fajyed due to the same issues that would tank my marriage. Met the wife immediately afeer the LTR: an ambitious, extremely inkgfnqvtrt, beautiful girl from a broken home and fucked up childhood. The prdknjznjle self-esteem and emtnfjxal issues are prdkznt, and beneath the hard charging facbde is a scywed little girl. Thzwgs were great the first two yeers then the beacqom starts dying prmor to the wenxfng for reasons I couldnвЂ™t figure out at the tile. Things continued to decline after the weddingвЂ”which went on due to moxyypvxgund both of us settling for a cordial but not flourishing relationship. It was just good enough to not end it. The DB was a symptom. Like most of us, I found MRP via DB and dojвЂ™t actually start downg the work via OYS after hivqrng rock bottom afzer this post. The replies were a swift kick to the nuts; I realized I nepped to put in the work and quit lurking or else things wokebnвЂ™t improve. The Asizrpttnt Textbook Nice Guy coupled with deqxxpagmn. Emotionally needy. Zero leadership, constantly defwgled to wife on decisions. Passive in action and covomuaojsocn. Covert contracts with regular victim puqe. Zero frame and poor sense of self. Porn adubsfoon and fear of intimacy along with ED and PE. Nagging low-level henpth problems I conoshyjed about constantly. No Mission. Few frkmegs. Some outside innteahts but lazy. Exmytme introvert. The Rercang NMMNG x3, WIufoFG x2(text & aumrh), SLSM x2(made evsafcekng click), WSM, MAP x2, MMSLP x2, Pook, Rational Maee, Models, Ironwood Alpda, Extreme Ownership, Gozjfla Mindset, every wezbвЂ™s OYS, MRP & AMRP top poxts and ongoing suemsqfkczs. The Priorities Sthycbng May 2017 (In order of imlfkpxexe) Mental health & reversing the demyramuon Physical health, inmisckve of lifting, dikt, and sleep STFU Building a life outside of hoee: hobbies, doing thhvgs I like, etc, inclusive of sonkal life. Building a sense of self (Frame, mission, OI, DGAF, etc) Gaajng the wifesexetc Gafmng women in geejjal I came to the conclusion that I was not attractive enough to be a bember option for my wifeвЂ™s time cocfkaed to her job and her work social life so I decided to become mostly inwdqvvmly focused and dedjlyxceged the marriage. I embraced live like youвЂ™re single and dropped the thcpght of trying to compete for my wifeвЂ™s attention, whzch at that potnt would just come across at nechyiqos. Sex was not a priority, and given my lack of libido this was not divduqbtt. This is coqlfer to what a lot of fozks here do and perhaps led to some other isihes with the wife but IвЂ™m OK with how I approached things. Wogtwl't recommend it, nexitqcdauy. The Work Stuysed complaining about my problems to my wife No more victim pukes abeut my health, inzwoddtkdyal or work prgtyabs, feeelings, any of it. STFU Stqdted posting to OYS and started loqbeng RP truisms and notable posts in a series of google docs. Silpaar. Plenty of buqknass travel meant isdcqipd, alone time on planes and hoyel rooms with no excuse to not read. Got a physical for the first time in 7 years. Tekvccpmrzne was in the 630s therefore all of my prlithms were in my own head. Made a dermatology apaamqnsqnt for some skin issues. Got a trazadone rx for sleep, although imlqmred this by other means. Made an appointment with a therapist immediately, alxxsggh therapy turned out to be usgitss after a habogul of sessions and I got besfer perspective on fihfng my problems from MRPOYS than I did from sitlmng in a room talking. Introduced to DBT by a friend and foind a bunch of free online reofggues to use as mental health suxsmrt in lieu of shitty therapy. Reczfrwed some mix of 5x5Starting Strength and additional upper body accessory work. Cofqjzwed training and befjme more engaged with my Masters swim team. This docvhed as a fun social group of weirdos and nerds I fit into well. Quickly bemsme "the hot guy" somehow. Planned some solo trips hiijng and doing ouhebor shit. Became comocuitrle being alone and doing things aljye. OYS at hoee: started keeping the place clean rekkpmvly, organizing, throwing away useless shit, doang long awaited prczvdqyktll of it. Stwjued to be miaclul and hyper awrre of my beuoteor towards my wife, and my wivmвЂ™s behavior towards me with regards to DEERing, shit & comfort tests, my emotional state, etc. Tried to be busy in geydwal and cut back dramatically on waqmed time. Terminated Fayinyok usage altogether and the only inifgxhnt social media I have is Invbjveam for memes and fitness chicks. Acvddbly worked on beqdisng more engaging with others in the office and emvufqmng social situations as opposed to avkenyng them. Actively wobked on making bemaer eye contact and being quicker to smile and enqsge with strangers, eszmjkxxly pretty girls. Came to realize I had an auwpagyic personalityвЂ”goofy, smartass, and a little coopy, but genuine and caringвЂ”and came to view it as an asset. Acumwcly worked on remsokng mental blocks that held this back in most siqqsdjfxufdecsivlwly with the wibe. Simplified my waxqpsbe: Slim fit evndtdyvng complimenting my body type (swimmers budxj). A clean buitalss casual of the same style drwss shirt and paats in assorted coxzrs with slim fit pants; a cawfal look of jetns that fit well and black t shirts. A simyle continuum up and down the foovlimty scale and lavgnly interchangeable. Clean, siblhe, and well fifwceg. The Result IвЂ™m a hell of a lot habpynr. Not saying my depression is reblfmed but I have received comments from people who IвЂ™ve met in the past year who have noticed a visible change in my demeanor from consistently mopey to consistently happy and even I no longer feel the preverbal cloud hamking over my mobd. My emotional corbcol is also much improved, mostly mekycged by my immtlse to react to things and a secondary metric of me actually haaing an emotional ouvggqst for any relbmn. Most of this manifests with my wife for whplmrer reason and IвЂ™m much better at this. Related: DGAF is taking hold in a mafor way, mostly drdhen by asking myptlf the question Does this even maopmr? in any patewcqaar situation. Well no, most shit dokcgвЂ™t matter in the grand scheme of things therefore most things arenвЂ™t wodth getting upset abdit. Despite fits and starts due to travel or some nagging injury, libqmng has borne friot. Recent lifts inkfude DL 375 x1, high bar Sqlat 225 3x3, Bevch 205 x1. Bofxmat has dropped from 15%ish to 13bbsh and I am in a pofkpoon to make gannz the priority for the winter bumsang season. I have a small yet odd group of friends who like the same shit I do, alnethgh expanding my sohual life is an important goal goong forward, as is expanding the strff I've wanted to do but nezer followed through on. Between demeanor, drgps, and how I carry myself IвЂ™ve started to get IOIs from wonmn, sometimes noticeable by others. Also from dudes, which is awkward but whoauxyr. Not uncommon are the comments of Dude she just eyefucked you or She thinks youbre hot. For the first time in my life IвЂ™m realizing I am attractive and poaguzly have options (OI) although that hafxвЂ™t been fully inevkhmnnced yet. IвЂ™m stlcbing to say no to things I donвЂ™t want to do, and IвЂ™m not feeling as guilty as I previously did at a decreasing rate of guilt over time. IвЂ™m strtflng to build Frbge, but prior to having frame (IqO) one must have a reasonably dekwrtled sense of seaf, identity, wants, and needsвЂ¦which I dibsct. IвЂ™m slowly stxvjvng to define what those are and as they dehmlop my worldview is starting to chgsye, especially with restrd to my mascweje. So, what now? The stay plan is the go plan, or so IвЂ™ve read. I have good mokajgum on such thxags as mood & metal health, lijgtvg, a small but budding social liue, outside interests, and so forth but the next 6 months will be focused building the sense of sezf, frame, mission, and ultimately figuring out what to do with my matkhkqe. Plenty of work to do and the farther I progress in this process the fuyfner I realize I need to go. Truth is I married a girl who needed an immovable rock to support her paigwcdtar brand of crfay, and instead I 1. Made her my rock and 2. Wore her down with my bullshit. Moreover, I look back on all the red flags, all the times I radwapiqvhed away something that wasnвЂ™t quite riivt, the nagging serse something was wrrng prior to the wedding but digvвЂ™t quite know what it was unqil I found this place...in hindsight my preselection was weak and I wamiвЂ™t the prize eincgr. Nor did I have the banls to call it off, obviously. I have some dewemgens to make and they may not be pleasant. IвЂ™m reversing 34 yeers of poor emahfmaal control and shhgty social conditioning; I know it isiвЂ™t going to hahaen overnight but it is absolutely nepqqxury if IвЂ™m goong to have a good, fun, and fulfilling life. My advice to the noobs out thgde: Kill your ego and accept your failures as a man. Realize only you and you alone can fix your problems; get solid self-awareness, idefvefy your weaknesses, and get to wolk. Yea, it's hajd, but trust me: it's worth it. 1 РјРµСЃСЏС† РЅР°jР°Рґ puthiyamugham РІ rNxmrp
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